“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” Aristotle
I disagree with most of that statement. Avoiding criticism is nearly impossible.
Yeah, if you do nothing, say nothing, be nothing, most people might not think enough of you to criticize, but you’ll be judged — It’s part of the human experience.
And if you’re anything like me…
….your own worst critic — then you HAVE to do something.
No two ways about it.
The part I like about that statement is
It took a long time to understand, you don’t have to hold on to the labels that other people give you. Hell, you don’t even need to keep the labels you’ve adopted.
Moments will reveal parts of your character, but they don’t actually define you.
Truth is, we’re highly adaptive creatures.
Moments we experience will mold us if we let them, but we still have the power of choice.
We can always do better next time.
Be Nothing is part of a mantra for me.
The other part is Need Nothing.
It’s one of the Pause Buttons I’ve developed to help “me” get out of my own way.
I’ll close my eyes. Tune into my breath and follow it for a minute or more. Then..
Breathe in… Be Nothing.
Breathe out… Need Nothing.
It helps me clear my mind.
I do it before I get on a phone call so that I can sit in the space where I need nothing to happen. I can just show up, and see what shows up in that conversation. It also helps get my brain in a space to write.
Words flow differently when I am nothing — when I need nothing from you.
No agenda other than the writing itself.
Not sure if you’ve noticed a difference in the past several weeks or not??
If you have, then…
we can both thank one of my Haters.
A few months ago, I bought a book and signed up for an online Master Class — The AlterEgo Effect by Todd Herman.
I’d shared a few times on Facebook about it. The idea being that we can create a different persona who does the stuff we need done. It’s one method of getting out of your own way.
My theory is that anyone who has suffered a good deal of trauma can use this to help them navigate the world differently. It’s basically intentional disassociation. I found it very helpful.
The reason I took that class, is because of the amount of inner resistance I experience on a regular basis.
It looks like self-sabotage. My poor wife can’t figure it out. She sees me as this amazing man, my clients gush over how much I’ve helped them transform how they feel inside and the results in their lives.
And instead of putting together proper marketing, building my email list, and publishing the books that are stuck inside of me, I’ll spend my days Tweeting nonsense and getting into fights with morons on Facebook.
A few years ago, just before Dad died, he made me promise to start writing again.
Part of me wishes I told him No. I fight that part of me every day. Todd’s Class has a section where you name the Enemy. Using comic books, movies, and other cues he teaches you to find the hero to the anti-hero in your mind for whatever field of play that excites you but you in which you struggle to show up.
After spending a few days working through those exercises, I posted some random post about Trump on Facebook, and my conservative friends came out of the woodwork.
One guy I used to hang out with in 1993 got ultra aggressive in his comments. Turned them into personal attacks. But, this wasn’t new behavoir for him. It was sort of his hobby for the past several years. I’m still not sure why it took me that long to delete him.
That day he must have drank some extra Hater-Aide — went completely off on me. Right before I deleted him, he wrote something to the effect of…
“Tell us more about the Way of Tim benevolent master of the universe.”
About 87 comments followed and ended with….
“EVERYONE talks about you about your back. They laugh at what a fake arrogant douche bag you are.”
Funny thing is…
That’s the voice in my head — the sound my Identity makes whenever I push against the edges of my comfort zone. And after Mr Jones went off on me, a little voice inside my head, popped off.
“No time for love Dr. Jones. We gotta go!”
That became one my ground punches — something Todd Teaches because every now and then our AlterEgo will get overrun by enemy forces. It’ll seem like all is lost and then BOOOMMMM!
A few days later, when I decided to outline a path for the next phase of Training for a client.
Grabbed my journal and did my “Be Nothing. Need Nothing.” Meditation
As a joke to myself, before I started the meditation, I put the title there.
The The Tao of Tim.
I set my intention for the meditation and said to myself…
“Haters be Damned Speak Your Truth.”
My client had paid me a LOT of money to work with him for the year. He asked me to created content to supplement our work together. That’s how the insane amount of content I’ve put out in the past 2 weeks came about. The 30,000 foot view — nearly 17,000 words in 5 days helped me find some clarity.
I realized we’d jumped the gun. He needed to wrestle with a few concepts before we get to the training. So, I spent last weekend going through and organizing things, looking for GAPs, and decided to Constrain each day into less than 1,000 words.
For convenience, I put the first 5 emails for the course up on the website. And have mapped out the rest of the course to go out over the next 3 weeks. From there, I will start to unpack 13 Concepts outlined above. As each chapter is finished, I’ll send it to my client — he and I will work through the material into January
Writing helps me unpack my mind and organize ideas.
My client loves podcasts — found me on one. So, I might need to create audios, videos, and possibly a few guided mediations for him over the next few months. We’ll see how it all shakes out.
If you’re on the list to get the Tao of Tim coaching emails, I might invite some of you into a deeper study of the material. That’ll depend on your level of engagement. After the 3 weeks is up, we’ll go back to Saturday only emails.
If you didn’t get on that list….
I posted this past week’s emails on two pages. The links are below. Read through it, and at the bottom of one of the pages is a way to sign up if you want the 3 week coaching course. Either way, I think you might want to read at least the last page about the Universal MAP of Transformation.
For the course… the 13 Lessons… Everything will fit into categories. Pause. Get Stoked. Flow.
A book about Constraint Theory inspired me to morph my own process of creating a better tomorrow. What I’m sharing is what currently seems to be working for me… and the reason my client signed up for a year in advance. It might not work for you. I’m not making any sort of claims here. I’ll let you make up your own mind.
Pause is all about Attention & Awareness.
Get Stoked is all about raising your vibration.
(honestly, this is enough for most people. Setting Big Audacious Goals isn’t for everyone. But, after we get through these modules, if you want, I’ll walk you through the process of Exponential Growth)
Flow is about Unobstructed Expression and your contribution to the world. If you want to do something big… if you have an impossible dream, I think this process will help you break it down and make it more probable.
I believe that nothing is impossible.
And I hope you do too.
But, as I explained in the article “From Perpetual Loser to Winner with Momentum, Belief isn’t actually required, although it definitely helps.
Moving forward, everything I do, say, and be will serve this idea…
Your Essential Self already knows the next best step to take.
with practice you can
Learn to Get Out of Your Own Way,
and Be the Hero of Your Own Life.
You are on a Choose Your Own Adventure.
You can choose to ignore what I share or pay attention.
You might choose to believe I’m full of it.
Either way is okay with me.
If you’re not already on the list for the free training program, go check out the article “From Perpetual Loser to Winner with Momentum” read it, click through to the MAP and decide if you want to know more, and sign up to get the 3 week email course.
Otherwise, I’ll talk to you next Saturday.
Love your face!
Tim “The Ambassador of Stoke” McAuley