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How to Stop Overthinking and Unlock Your Happiness Now

Depression and Anxiety Sucks, Doesn’t it?

The tricky part about depression and anxiety is dealing with the thought process that accompanies.

You feel all alone; abnormal.

Hopeless.

Those feelings become part of your inner conversation and you start to think…

“What’s wrong with me?”

You try your damnedest to shake the feeling. Get rid of the thoughts. But, nothing fills that empty void.

You do your best to put on a happy face. Act as if nothing is wrong. Pretend you’re happy.



[text_block style=”style_1.png” align=”left”]And if you ever “let people in,” they say things like:

“You have so much going on for you. Just be happy.”

Which is kind of like a kick in the teeth.

You feel selfish and a little bit ashamed, because you do have so much while so many other people have so little, but you’re still not happy.

People will ask you…

“What can’t you just be happy?”

That question is a kick in the teeth followed by throat punch. It takes the wind out of you.

It’s almost like the same question you ask yourself 100 times a week:

“Why can’t I just enjoy life and be happy now?”

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That question is why websites such as this one exist…

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and why other websites will tell you…“Happiness is a choice.”

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But, saying happiness is a choice is a bit misleading, if not completely naive.

Robert Sapolsky, one of the world’s leading neuroscientist talks about depression in one of his Stanford Lectures. (You can find them on YouTube here).

One of his video descriptions reads:

“depression is the most damaging disease that you can experience. Right now it is the number four cause of disability in the US and it is becoming more common. Sapolsky states that depression is as real of a biological disease as is diabetes.”



So let me be very clear about this.

[op_liveeditor_element data-style=””][text_block style=”undefined” align=”left”]Some people do need medication to have a healthy and stable brain chemistry.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

Other people require temporary boost from pharmacology and lifestyle change.

And there is nothing wrong with them.

And then some people just need a lifestyle change.

And guess what.

There is nothing wrong with them.

That’s right.

There is nothing wrong with you.

That being said, when you read here, or in other places that I’ve written…[/text_block][/op_liveeditor_element]

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Happiness is an Inside Job

What I mean by that is, that happiness is a result of Neurochemicals such as:

•Dopamine

•Serotonin

•GABA

•Oxytocin (pictured on the right)

•Endorphins

•Adrenaline

•and Endocannabinoids



My mission is to create a lifestyle and a set of daily habits, and rituals that help my body produce a healthy balance of those feel good Neurochemical so I can feel happier all the time

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And that’s what this website is all about.

Before we continue you should know a few things about me.

First, I dropped out of college in 1997.

In college, I rarely attended class. If I was there, I wasn’t sober. Matter of fact I didn’t stop drinking and narcotic abuse until 2004.

I spent a major part of my life working as a bartender and goofing off. My education comes from a library card and an internet access.

Second, people hire me for consultations.

I am really effective at helping people sort things out by listening to them and connecting with the emotions of their stories and then offering a few alternative perspectives.

I don’t have a degree, and I don’t have training in NLP or Coaching.

But, I’ve been working with people since 2006, helping them change the way they see themselves which in turn affects the way they treat themselves as well as other people.

You should know that this website contains essays about self-development.

I write this stuff for me, if you get something out of it, that’s awesome! But, please don’t take what I write and think it’s some sort of prescription. It’s not.

I’m just sharing what’s going on with me, what has worked for me in the past, and what people a lot smarter than me have to say on the subject of Self-Development and Personal Growth.

 

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Why did I put this page together?

SHORT ANSWER:

[op_liveeditor_element data-style=””][text_block style=”undefined” align=”left”]Because Diane, a former client, now a friend, posted a link on my Facebook wall the lead to an article about Big Wave Surfer Sunny Garcia suffering from depression.

Diane suggested that I reach out to him. Her faith that I can inspire happiness in other people is seemingly unshakable.

So here we are.

I’m writing this, and you’re reading it.

Simple.[/text_block][/op_liveeditor_element]

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LONGER ANSWER:

[op_liveeditor_element data-style=””][text_block style=”undefined” align=”left”]I’ve struggled struggled to cope with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember.

It used to be one of the main topics of this website, but in December of 2013 something happened and the entire site vanished from cyberspace.

The site vanished and I treated it as a sign. Time for a fresh start.

So, in January of 2014 Get Stoked TV (now defunct) was launched. Four episodes later, that project fell to the wayside. Anxiety killed that project.

The point in sharing that is to point out; you can study and learn all the best techniques and read about the best practices to get you this or that, but if you don’t put in the work you won’t get the results.

That holds true for fitness, business, and for your emotional life.

You already know how to create a positive state of being.

You know the steps to living a better life.

You know how to be productive.

Yet, you’re still searching for happiness.

How is that possible?

How can so many people feel so desperate, even though we live in the most magical time in the history of mankind?[/text_block][/op_liveeditor_element]

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Take my life for example.

A few years ago…

I lived in a single wide trailer in south eastern Ohio that I shared with my dad.

One day I decided that I needed a change, so I sat and thought about what I wanted my life to look like.

I created a dream board. Then realized there was a better way to visualize than using a cluttered dream board, and created a new process. That dream board was created in May 2012.

The process was what I call finding “Your no matter what.”

The purpose of it is to meditate and create the internal energy that moves your towards you goals.

When done right, it’s pretty damn effective.

On my dream board in 2011 was an amazing woman, a waterfront home, free time to Paddle and I write for a living.

By the end of the year, I was in that lakefront home with the woman who is now my wife.

My life is nearly identical to my dream board.

I have it all.

  • The woman who loves me,
  • a garage full of paddle boards,
  • 2 and half acres lake front
  • Audi A4 in the driveway
  • and two little dogs as a bonus



AND HERE’S THE RUB…

[op_liveeditor_element data-style=””][text_block style=”undefined” align=”left”]And here’s the rub.

You can have it all and still be filled with anxiety.

Still be depressed.

And Still Overthink Your Life Away.

But, that usually happens when you don’t apply the basic fundamental habits that help you reduce stress, and increase happiness.[/text_block][/op_liveeditor_element]

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Knowledge is Useless without Proper Application.

[text_block style=”style_1.png” align=”left”]Let that sink in for a second…

Application of knowledge is one of the biggest keys to success.

But, sometimes it’s difficult to apply the simple principles of self-improvement.

When you feel like your back is against the wall…

When you struggle to make ends meet…

When you’re sitting there wondering how you’re going to pay your bills next month…

When you think that the future holds more of the same old shit…

It’s easy to skip the most important things, like drinking enough water, eating properly and exercise, so that you can make time to take big bold massive actions.

Life has a way of making you feel like there is never enough.

Not enough time.

Not enough resources.

Not enough freedom.

Not enough…

Luckily for me, something happened that woke me up.

It was November 2014, Annette, my girlfriend (now my wife), asked me if I wanted to leave.

In her mind she saw how stressed out I was about getting money coming in and thought that I wasn’t happy with what we have together.

Talk about a show stopper.

She’s the best part of my life right now.

My rock.

A unicorn.

This is exactly the type of relationship I always wanted.

Some things just stopped you in your tracks.

For me, this was one of those things.[/text_block]

I DECIDED TO APPLY WHAT I KNOW.

[op_liveeditor_element data-style=””][text_block style=”undefined” align=”left”]The next day, a few notebooks were dusted off and then over the next few weeks were filled with some mind-dumps and lists of:

•worries,

•fears,

•anxieties,

•regrets,

•accomplishments,

•abilities,

•strengths,

•weaknesses,

•wants and desires.

Those mind dumps and lists brought me back to writing and this website was reborn.[/text_block][/op_liveeditor_element]

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[text_block style=”style_1.png” align=”left”]and this post was born. This Page… The one you are reading right now, is focused on…

Key Techniques and Tips on How to Overcome Depression and Anxiety.

 But, please understand. I am not delivering you a prescription. I’m not a Dr. or a Trained Psychologist. The only credential I own is Street Cred.

Take my words for what they’re worth…

Observations based on my own layman studies and personal experimentation.

Start a conversation about the ideas expressed here.

Challenge what I share.

Share with me the studies and research you find helpful.

Together we can discover ways to experience and sustain more joy and happiness.

Here We Go…

One of my biggest hurdles is my Inner Critic.

That voice of shame beats me up on an almost continual basis.

The best way I’ve found to overcome that negative self-talk is actually quite simple.

And I’ll go into that, but before we address the inner critic, we need to learn how to Reduce Stress and Overcome Anxiety.

My Favorite Coping Mechanism to Overcome Stress and Anxiety. (clickable link)

In order to make that Mechanism a regular part of my day has been a bit of a challenge to me.

I’m still refining one of the systems that helps me reduce more stress and get a LOT of stuff done.

But before we get into productivity, it’s helpful to understand a bit about habits, because once you understand how habits form, you have a bit of powerful information at your disposal.

And as you know, information without action is pretty much useless.

So, my goal for the next trip around the sun is to slowly but surely make improvements.

My working theory is if you just improve by 1% at a time, that in one to two years, you’ll be a completely different person.

Calmer. Less angry. More loving. Happier. Healthier. Richer in every way imaginable.

To help me with that, it’s time to get back to the basics with…

The Key to Achieving Personal Goals isn’t What I Thought. (Clickable Link)

And for those times that I slip up, fall back and land in old patterns of behavior and thinking it’s helpful to have…

A Simple, but Effective way to Get Back on Track, Stay on Track and
Get More Done in Less Time 

 This stuff isn’t rocket surgery.

But, it does take a little bit of time. And that’s where it went wrong for me.

My problem is, that I want it all and I want it RIGHT NOW.

I am insatiable.

My mind never stops. It’s hard for me to reign it in.

Focus.

Slow it down.

Especially when I need to start a new career or put myself out on the line or something.

That’s why it’s important for me to understand…

The Power of Rituals and Routines (coming soon)

That part kind of ties the previous posts all together.

After I share that stuff with you, I’ll share with you…

The Keystone of My Daily Routines (coming soon) — This is what has helped me start to build better systems and stay focused, without feeling like a robot.

And this part of my routine let’s me…

Know when to Stay the Course and When to Pivot.(coming soon).

And hopefully, I learn, How to be Fluid and Calm During Challenging Times  (coming soon) well enough to write/teach it.

….and there is much more to come.

To Learn More About How to Overcome Depression and Anxiety, Tame Your Inner Critic and Get More out of Your Life sign up for the exclusive Soul Surfer School Newsletter.

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