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Surfing Introduced Me To Flow
— the feeling of oneness with the moment.
It happened sometime in 2005 at San Onofre State beach. I’d been sober for a few years, teaching myself how to surf. Someone introduced me to Self-Help books, and screwed me up for years.
Spirituality turned into a spiritual bypass.
2006-2010, I was Mr. Yoga Guy with Rage issues, floating around Los Angeles. Returned to where my story began after getting deported from Brazil. During my stay there I published my first book (filled with Hyperbole) and then got sucked down a shiny rabbit hole of seedy internet marketing.
In April of 2013, while on top of a paddle board on Seneca Lake, something jolted me into that same space I’d discovered all those years ago at SanO.
The water about ten feet in front of me exploded.
Shock waves rippled through the water, and through me.
I dragged the paddle in the water to stop the board. Out of the water comes a Bald Eagle. Its Talons gripping the life out of a fish
I swear that fish looked at me as like…
“Dude. Did you see that? WTF?”
Every now and life will wake you up and silence the noise in your mind.
It’s like bubble of space is carved out. You’re protected from getting sucked under into the emotional ongoing narrative of your own narrative.
When you find that space, your experience of life is different. Colors are brighter. You live in a sense of awe and wonder. You feel free, because you are.
That time, it lasted about 3 minutes.
Cultivating the space of presence is a practice.
A moment by moment practice.
Since I was landlocked, my practice became centered around paddle boarding. I build my schedule around it. Being on the water 25-30 hours a week will teach you a few things.
Since my return from Brazil, I shared a little dumpy trailer with my father. He smoked cigars while I was gone, and got defensive when I asked him to stop smoking in the house. We became best friends in those few years.
I’d taken him to Georgia to visit my sister for a month.
With the place to myself, I started meditating, paddling every day, and doing some weird rituals to get my mind in a certain space.
I felt myself again. When I showed up at my sister’s house to retrieve dad, they noticed. Everything about me had changed.
A month of paddling is great for you body, physiology, spirit, and mood.
On the trip back from Georgia, we stopped at this cool little spot somewhere in the Carolinas.
Water has always soothed me. I love that spot. I stop there for a few minutes every time.
We got back in the car, and dad was unusually silent until West Virginia. He never was much of a talker. But, whenever you took him more than 20 miles away from home, he’d nervous talk your ears off.
Just when entered West Virginia he said….
“Boy. It’s time you leave Ohio.
I get why you’re here.
You saved me from myself, but you’re too good of a man to waste your life for me.
Time to find you a woman and get back to the Ocean. You need it, and you’re just not built for winter.”
A little back and forth later, he gave me a deadline.
“Be gone by January.
Keep in touch. And visit at least every other year. You know I won’t visit you. Nothing Personal, I just feel better at home.”
It took a few days to decide my next move.
I’m a big proponent of dream boards, having a vision, and creating standards and rules to guide your life.
So, I created this No Matter What Dream Board and Method of Visualization that makes use of sexual energy and creative juices.
And it worked like a charm.
I’ll show you that further down the road.
You have to learn how to pause first.
And that’s not easy.
After created a video walkthrough of the process and shared with my email list. Then, I posted a declaration on Facebook. “I’m Movin To Maui.” Oversharing is kind of my thing.
And that’s when things took a turn.
A woman I’d never met in person reached out to me. She lived in Virginia, and posted some of the best sunset pictures on the internet. I said no thanks.
She was looking for Mr. Right, and I didn’t think I was him.
We chatted a few days, and my mind changed. We met up. It was magical.
That was September 2013.
At one point, she was at the sink washing dishes telling me about her last marriage, and said the truest thing anyone has ever said, and the reason I’ve yet to visit Maui.
“The thing that upsets me most about the way he treated me, was I’m really good at being a wife.”Annette H McAuley (her name wasn’t McAuley then, and we don’t need to print the other name) 😉
I had no clue that eventually, she’d prove that statement to me, but I knew I wanted to spend more time with her.
I moved to Smith Mountain Lake in November, and we’ve been bouncing around the country since then. (2016 San Clemente. ’17 Boulder City, NV.)
After failing to grow a paddle board business at Lake Mead, I got on the team at one of the Highest Rated Restaurants in the world, across from the convention center in Vegas. Money was great.
My Dad’t best friend called.
Just like the wave…
…the Eagle bombing the water….
…Life smacked me into the present moment.
We thought he had 3 days left. I went to Ohio to sit with him. He lasted 47 days and it broke me.
He was technically alive for my birthday that year, but he wasn’t really there. His brain was fried. He came in and out.
A few weeks after this picture was taken, American Pickers on the TV….
He Broke days of relative silence.
“Boy. Listen up.
I don’t know how long I’ll be here.
My brain don’t work right.
You’re about to feel a pain you can’t imagine.
When my dad died it broke me. And I ruined the first good thing that ever happened in my life, and ended up being the guy you had as a dad.
Don’t you let that happen to you.
Don’t lose that woman.
Don’t let the anger take you.”
He told me to give it no more than a year.
My dad read both of my books several times.
He said they changed his life. And he died thinking I could change the world. At least for a few people.
So, when I arrived back home, Annette had moved us from Vegas, to Frisco, Texas.
I spent a year looking deep into the mirror.
My goal — Cultivate the space inside of me, get out of my own way, and create a better life for my family.
Then write and share what works for me.
Along the, I reached out to people I’d met in passing.
Just to connect.
One guy… oddly enough, named Mike said a few things, and I knew I could help him sort things out, and invited him to call me on a weekly basis for some personal and business coaching.
Six weeks later, he encouraged me to figure out a way to build a coaching practice.
This stuff works for Mike.
Maybe it’ll work for you.
I set this website up to help you start to carve out that space inside you, so that you can tune out of the noise.
Maybe you don’t experience the level of noise I used to…
..that’s great, you probably don’t need to keep reading this.
Maybe the reason for your noise is something that requires therapy.
I’m not your guy for that.
I have a few certifications to facilitate transformational coaching, but it’s not therapy.
But, look, I’m not here to try to start a long debate either.
Not here to convert you, convince you, or argue with you.
If this makes sense, continue.
Life is a choose your own adventure.
You do You.
If you want to understand a little more about the basic level of the Soul Surfer School process, it all starts with PAUSE.
You can learn more about that here.
Click this link at your own risk
Read it. Click through the links.
Get a good idea of where I’m coming from.
At the bottom of the next page is an audio that might help you press pause now, and feel a sense of relief from anxiety.
I said might…
If you feel like continuing this journey (for free) there are details and a way for me to coach you through this without costing you more than your attention.
Disclaimer. I’m not qualified, certified, or hold any advanced degrees. I’m a deeply flawed human.
Broken. And no longer ashamed.
If you’re severely depressed, please seek professional help.
If you feel suicidal. Please do not click the link.
Get therapy please. I love you. And I am not trained to deal with all that you have to deal with.
I did it on my own, and do not recommend that to you.
This is for educational purposes only.
None of this is advice.
wow… still here…
Well. Let’s go. Click this link at your own risk..